Crafting Holiday Schedules and Navigating Holidays for Separated Parents
This time of year always poses challenges for separated parents. The division of time during vacations, holidays, and family traditions presents unique challenges. For separated parents residing in Fairfax and Loudoun County, Virginia, these periods require thoughtful planning and consideration, especially when distances and legal intricacies come into play. This guide serves as a foundation for separated parents in Fairfax and Loudoun County as they focus on crafting holiday schedules and navigating holidays this season.
Key Considerations for Holiday and Vacation Planning
Emphasizing Family Traditions
Fairfax and Loudoun County’s diverse communities celebrate a myriad of traditions. It’s crucial to weigh the importance of these customs and decide whether to maintain or adapt them against the backdrop of what best serves your children’s interests.
Travel Logistics and Costs
Consideration of travel costs, accommodations, and the practicality of extended stays is essential for effective planning. Your agreement should clearly outline who bears the financial responsibility for travel, especially in cases where one parent resides outside of Virginia. This includes the cost of an accompanying adult for children under a certain age (typically around 13) or when airline policies for unaccompanied minors are involved.
Fostering Quality Time with Each Parent
Virginia courts prioritize the child’s well-being and best interests, advocating for their time with both parents. Flexibility, communication, and a willingness to adapt to changing circumstances, such as school schedules and new family dynamics, are key.
Crafting a Holiday Schedule
A common approach is to alternate major holidays yearly. For instance, one parent may have the children for Thanksgiving in even years, and the other in odd years. To view a past post I wrote about alternating holidays that includes a full template holiday schedule example, click: HERE.
When defining holidays, consider incorporating travel days into the schedule and establishing clear and practical exchange locations. Defining holidays is crucial: each parent must know when the holiday begins and ends.
Divisions of Holidays
Joint Celebrations: Amicable relationships may allow for joint holiday celebrations, including new partners. This arrangement also works once parents have distanced themselves from their divorce and children have become old enough to cope with a bit of awkwardness.
Splitting the Day: For families with significant customs on specific holidays, dividing the day between parents can be a solution, though all parties involved are likely to lose a bit of the holiday to logistics and travel. This arrangement tends to work well with very young children who may not be able to fully participate in the more time-consuming aspects of holiday celebrations or who need to fulfill certain obligations at each parent’s home.
Alternate Holidays: Easily the most common arrangement, alternating the holidays allows children to spend entire holidays with one parent, rotating each year for equity. While not ideal for one parent each year, often arrangements can be made for an alternative celebration with children. And, that parent might enjoy a “parent only” holiday.
Creating Alternate Celebrations: Establishing new traditions on different days can ensure both parents partake in important holidays. Much like a child’s birthday being celebrated during a close-in-time weekend as opposed to the birthday itself, often parents duplicate the holiday experience on a different day altogether or create new holidays such as “Second-Christmas” or “Lake House Fireworks in July.”
Designating Constant Holidays: Certain days, like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, should consistently be spent with the respective parent. Similarly, if one parent has a particularly important tradition for a certain holiday, that parent might take that holiday each year in exchange for giving up another holiday of lesser importance to him or her.
Virtual Celebrations: When physical presence is impossible, digital celebrations can help maintain some level of connection. Adequate time and privacy are crucial for parents to make the most of a virtual celebration.
Documenting Your Schedule
A written and agreed-upon schedule prevents misunderstandings and conflicts. It ensures clarity and provides a reference point in case of disputes.
Dealing with Non-Compliance
If disagreements arise or a parent does not adhere to the schedule, legal recourse is available. In Fairfax County, the family law system can address these issues, often with solutions like compensatory parenting time.
Crafting holiday schedules and navigating holidays can be a challenge. My partner Grant Moher, Esquire wrote an excellent and detailed post about holiday time that can be viewed by clicking: HERE. If you’ve got questions about these issues, feel free to drop me a line. Jason A. Weis, Esquire – Curran Moher Weis P.C. – jweis@curranmoher.com – 10300 Eaton Place, Suite 520 Fairfax, VA 22030 – 571-328-5020.
